No dating post kids? Student care centre organises movie nights for kids, so parents can go on dates
Mr Luc Choo and his wife Lindt Tan spend the date nights going for dinners and running errands before picking up their child, Lucinda, from FUN Commune. ST PHOTO: CHONG JUN LIANG
Published:
APR 28, 2024
Venessa Lee
SINGAPORE – A student care centre is encouraging the parents of the children in its care to go on date nights.
Since FUN Commune opened in Geylang in October 2023, it has held Parents’ Date Night every last Friday of the month. Its children, typically aged seven to 11, stay on at the centre for dinner and a movie till 9pm, past their usual pick-up time of 7pm.
The pair of sisters behind FUN Commune – where FUN stands for fair, uplifting and nurturing – say their date night programme is intended to support both parents and kids.
Co-founder, director and academic coach Soh Huang Chi, 33, says: “Parents’ Date Night was initiated to let parents put each other first again by going on dates. When parents intentionally spend time alone together, they are able to reconnect and interact with each other, especially when their daily lives do not allow them to.
“This is very much aligned with FUN Commune’s belief that, when parents communicate effectively with each other, they will be able to support their children and have a better relationship with them. A good parent-child relationship will help nurture a child who has a sense of security and is confident to face the world.”
The initiative was met with confusion at first, says her sister Soh Huang Ting, 38, the centre’s business development director and parenting coach.
“When we started Parents’ Date Night, the parents were quite confused and didn’t know what to do or where to go. Some of them came to pick up their children earlier than expected, and the kids said they hadn’t finished watching their movie.”
Now, the parents are “thrilled” and pencilling in date night ahead of time, she says. About 80 per cent of the children stay late at the centre on those Fridays, at no additional charge.
The sisters used to work together at a pre-school enrichment centre before starting FUN Commune. It charges $675 a month for its after-school care services, where its staff supervise 18 kids in their homework, provide tuition and impart executive functioning skills, as part of a programme of holistic development.
The kids are mainly aged three to 12 and live nearby or come from schools in Geylang, Aljunied, Punggol and Boon Keng.
Parents who have embarked on these endorsed date nights say the experience brings them back to a more carefree time. Many rarely go on dates after having children.
Mr Luc Choo, 46, a freight forwarding manager, and his wife Lindt Tan, 41, spent three Fridays in recent months watching a movie, going for dinner and running errands, knowing that their only child, Lucinda, 11, was gainfully occupied at the centre.
Ms Tan, who works as a florist, says: “We don’t talk about ourselves, usually, when we are all out together. This is like when we were dating before we got married.
“Normally, we shop online, so it’s nice to go out as a couple to buy groceries. We also order spicy hawker food like stingray, which our child doesn’t like.”
Another set of parents, wellness consultant Catherine Wong and business manager Danson Boh, both 39, say the date night initiative helps them be more intentional about how they spend their time.
Mr Boh says: “It reminds us that we should not waste this opportunity to spend time with the family.”
The couple have either gone out on their own or taken their five-year-old daughter, Avery, along with them on these sanctioned date nights, while they collect their son Boston, nine, later from the centre.
The couple also have regular lunch dates with each other and separate guys- and girls-only outings with their kids, who both attend FUN Commune.
Ms Wong says: “Because of the age and gender differences between our children, it can be hard to cater to everyone.”
For instance, Boston enjoys spending time with the other kids during their movie night at FUN Commune and dislikes window shopping, which Avery is keen on.
Other after-school care programmes in Singapore that allow late pick-up times are typically targeted at a different demographic. These services are usually for kids from low-income households whose parents work multiple jobs and late shifts.
The charity Daughters of Tomorrow, for instance, runs a programme matching childminders with low-income parents who need help caring for their children because they work irregular hours. The services are offered at $5 an hour for a child.
Morning Star Community Services is opening its fifth CareNights centre in Hougang in mid-2024, says its communications and development manager Khong Kiong Seng. Its other centres are located in areas like Bedok, Sengkang and Toa Payoh.
CareNights, launched in 2016, is a free drop-in programme at the non-profit organisation, which also offers services like student care and parenting and marriage workshops. Targeted at children aged six to 14 from low-income families, CareNights runs on weeknights from 6 to 10pm, providing the youngsters with dinner and structured activities focusing on values and life skills.
Mr Khong says the after-hours programme meets the needs of parents from underprivileged families who previously could not take up additional work shifts or upgrading courses to better their financial situation, for fear of leaving their children home alone at night.
He says: “A large proportion of the families that send their children to CareNights are single-parent households and these single parents welcome the respite.”